Every days you're many to send me emails, asking me “Eh Brad-Pitt, Why don't you never speak about your sister ?”
I found that it could be class to start this article like that but I've never received any mail from anybody. I don't care.
It's today that Pendry was coming back from her work experience. My Mum is sure that Pendry is an American name. Having said that, this name is fitting her quite well as she's mad about gear (penderie (sounds like Pendry) means wardrobe in French). My sister is 17. So she's just right in the middle between Crocheton and me. Recently my sister wasn't at home. She was in Paris for her work experience. That's why I've never spoke about her before.
My sister, her work experience, it's something to become a top model. It's a work experience organised by a huge top model firm (une boite) (the French word “une boite” used by Brad (French text) can be traduced by a firm but it's also means a box, the following joke is from this double meaning). Don't think that I am speaking about a top model “boite” like I will speak about a sardine's “boite” (sardine's tin), you will be completely wrong, I have plenty of respect for handsome ladies, my mum first. So her work experience was organised by Alite Agency, for 10 days, in Paris.
My sister is gorgeous. She's arousing. 90/60/90 with a look tat make you mad ! My sister is always well dressed, she's really sexy.
She has a voice, my sister, which make you think that she sucks honey's sweet since 10 years.
Dad is always saying that Pendry is a goddess. He's saying that she's like the Virgin Mary. My sister, one day, she will earn plenty of money by parading for fashion designer.
My sister is the big pride of our family.
Few hours ago I was in the loo, seating on the throne, eyes closed, I was rehearsing in my mind. The house was silent when suddenly I heard a voice, and then you have to imagine my sister at the other side of the toilet's door, on all fours, her mouth pressed between the bottom of the door and the floor, and I heard “Hey Brad-Pitt, you're still masturbating, you schmuck ?!! ..... her bitch's laugh and my harm is becoming so much tense that my hand is tighten up around my penis and I can feel a kind of arghhhhh coming from my throat. I hate when she is doing that. How can she knows that I am masturbating ????!
Ah, a guy who is speaking about his masturbation, Damn ! Alarm, censorship, pin pon pin pon ! Shocking ! But did you know that statistically, in France 97% of 15 years old teenagers are masturbating at least once a day. I am insisting on “at least”. It means that when you will shake the hand of your neighbour's son or the young trainee who is making coffee you have a huge chance that this schmuck is still having some of his sperm on the palm that he is holding out. That stressed you out, I know. But if you're a boy who had 15 years old once, I'm not teaching you anything.
About this topic, do you know that I've tried to do a break ........ no way ! I always end up on the loo with my hand holding my penis. It's hormonal like Madam Goimain is saying. Well, it's possible.
But I thinks that hormones are working as well for girls. When my sister had my age, maybe younger, I remember that she tried to put her nose in her anus. Described like that it can appears funny. But straightaway I didn't find that funny. Yep, she was 14, 15 years old. I was hunched in one of my bedroom's corner between the wardrobe and the bed, and I couldn't stand up and her, she bared her ass and tried to put her bottom on her nose, singing “smell my ass if it's smelly”.
Maybe Madam Goimain is right, maybe the hormones give us so much hard time that it makes us mad. Maybe we will become all mad at 15 years old. I'm asking myself if it's just for a period or if it's irremediable. Are adults mad as well ? Are they masturbating in the loo ? Are they sniffing their own asshole ? Are they saying under the toilet's door “Are you still having a wank, old man” ?
Or is it just us, teenagers, or worst : Is it just our family that is mad ?
Dad is saying “Pendry you're more and more beautiful”
Dad is saying “Pendry you're like your mother”
Pendry told Crocheton and me that during her work experience all girls were sleeping in a dormitory and she saw everybody's boobs. She said that some girls were kissing each other on the mouth. With the tongue. I don't really believe in it. I think she's just saying that in order to attract the attention. Crocheton said that's possible. It is possible that two girls are kissing each other, I mean. I know that's possible, I'm not saying the contrary, but I don't really believe in it. It's weird, I find that Pendry is acting more and more like a big girl. When I'm thinking that last year she wanted me to show her my willie.