Today I almost spent half of my day in the schoolyard. I was studying maths for the Brevet’s exam. We had only 3 course hours. During the left time we were allowed to study outside the school. It was cool. However, the two hours of German with Mrs Griard were not funny.
Ubong ! Letsyown dry. "Deeter, deeter, air noyman hat yne nawy Mertseedess."
Ubung ! Lezion drei. "Dieter, Dieter, Herr Neuman hat eine neue Mercedes."
Exercise ! Lesson three. "Dieter, Dieter, Mr Neuman has a new Mercedes."
"Good for him but tell this fat swine to clear off with his petty bourgeois’ car or I stick him the exhaust in the arse."
It’s strange to think that the guy who created this car’s brand gave it his daughter’s first name : mercedes. Fuckhead. Now no one can call his daughter Mercedes because of that guy ! Good enough that her daughter’s name was not Christine or John because many people would have the same name as a car. Stupid-looking.
To me, German is just disgusting. When I was on 7th form there was a school trip to London. My whole class was participating. My father told me: « you can choose. Either you go to London now. Or you go to Germany, like your brother, when you are in 9th form.» The trip to London was 2 days long. The trip to Berlin was 10 days long. Crocheton had been there, and he found it groovy. Still and all I answered I wanted to go to London. My father said that no you will go to Germany. Oh well okay.
The school trip to Germany: all the students of my class went there; it was this year on February. It was groovy! I’m still waiting. I’m the only asshole who stayed in France. My father said: « we don’t have the money to send you to the Krauts. You know we have to pay for your sister’s theatre lessons! »
People often ask me whether Deuchfalh is a Germanic name. People are so stupid.
J'ai un bon fond, translated by Valentina. Every correction, improvement, proofreading or subtleties are more than welcome. That's what the comments are for…If you're bilingual, a translator, an English teacher or simply very gifted in English, and if you wish to participate more actively to the translation of my texts, you can contact me by email (in French please!)