If my sister read my articles she would quite be able to tell my parents. She's so bitchy. She is my sister so I know it. I like her but she's a pain in the arse. It is true. If she knew for my blog, everyone would know it.
She would tell me to stop my pose - small show-off- she would tell me to stop thinking I am a great writer, that I am just a kid - small knucklehead. My sister doesn't hear me when I tell her to let me live, that I am a kid no more, she buries my sentences under hers it's as if my mouth were full of sand, it bugs me.
Da-aaad, Da-aaad, bradpitthehazablog!
That's why I cannot tell her. She cannot keep a secret. There's no way. I cannot trust her. It is not possible.
She shall not find the address of my blog, I shall not forget to remove it from the history. If she finds it, everyone will know. Not trusting her. I cannot. I am sure. Basic principle: not trusting her. Never.
Mom is knitting. There's really nothing going on TV at this time of the day. That's what my sister says. Yes says my mother standing up and she goes to the kitchen to prepare lunch. My sister turns to see whether mom is far enough. What bad trick is she preparing again? My stomach is already stinging. She turns her head to me. She looks at me. She turns her head to the kitchen. But what is she preparing again? She turns her head to me once more. But why is she playing the whirligig? I am soaked with certitudes but she dries me with three words: write shorter articles.
Putain... elle est forte quand même..., translated by Valentina. Every correction, improvement, proofreading or subtleties are more than welcome. That's what the comments are for…If you're bilingual, a translator, an English teacher or simply very gifted in English, and if you wish to participate more actively to the translation of my texts, you can contact me by email (in French please!)
POUR LES BALEZES : "Je suis trempé de certitudes mais elle me sèche en cinq mots : fais des articles plus courts." -> jeux de mots sur "sécher quelqu'un" = "lui clouer le bec" (expression de ma mère) et sécher (ex : faire sécher du linge) La traduction de Valentina est "I am soaked with certitudes but
she dries me with three words: write shorter articles." mais je suis pas assez balèze en english pour savoir si le jeu de mot est retranscrit.